Oct. 15, 2012
More on what we talked about: - How did O.M. get her start writing about polyamory and relationships? - So what's the difference for O.M. between polyamory and monogamy? For her, polyamory is much more practical - it's unrealistic to expect that one person is going to fulfill you entirely forever, and it's possible to feel deep love and devotion for more than one person at a time, she says. - O.M. believes polyamory is beneficial in the way that partners are able to express their attractions and feelings for others. Without secrets and deception, those involved don't feel lied to or betrayed, and often, the betrayal hurts more than the actual act of cheating! - An avid believer that each relationship is unique, O.M. stresses that what works for one couple will not necessarily work for another - the key factors to making it work are communication, honesty, and integrity in any relationship. - So what if you find yourself or your partner being attracted to another person? As O.M. believes, it's natural! The important thing is to talk about it honest and express fears openly, for both polyamorous and monogamous relationships alike. This will help build intimacy and make you closer to your partner. - What does O.M. recommend to build good communication? Invest in your relationship(s) and make it as strong as possible, never try to protect your partner by deceiving them, and don't use judgmental language, she says. - She suggests using "I" statements - saying "I felt hurt" rather than "You hurt me" sounds less accusatory and allows you to take ownership of your own feelings. - Engage in conversations about intimate topics in a safe space when both parties are feeling content and happy, rather than when you're in a space of anger or fear.
