the Difficult Listening Channel

Difficult Listening Channel - 209 - A Slight Mutation Caused This? or: Dad's Parakeet is Dead

April 11, 2013

Ned ran his ant farm like a Soviet gulag. He was a true tyrant at heart, but his real passion was practical jokes. He claimed that Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction was all his idea. He also had drawn up detailed plans for circuit bending Dr. Stephen Hawking's voice synthesizer. That looked promising, if he could only get close enough. Problem was that his ants didn't appreciate all the efforts. See, ants aren't capable of comprehending such things. After all, they're only ants. So there would be consequences. Deep consequences. Ned dressed up like Jesus by manipulating a bed sheet to resemble a robe. He carried a vial of what he claimed was holy water and he pranced around for hours in front of his ants preaching bible scripture. Louder and louder, his raspy voice hit an unbelievable volume. The walls in his house even shook at points. Outside he erected dozens of religious icons in his yard, the largest statue reaching up 20 feet. Now the homeowner's association would have to become involved. email: [email protected] web: www.michaeloster.com

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