Good, God-fearing people. Dangerously uninformed.
Liked
- Their counsel to weigh all advice against scripture
- Their recognition of the pastor’s bad advice
- Their willingness to agree that separation is a good thung
However, they advise women in abusive situations to set boundaries with their husbands—apparently not realizing that can exacerbate the abuse.
- No mention of safety planning
- No mention of where to find more information about domestic violence
- Blaming victims as “too passive” and “you just need to set boundaries”
I’d recommend Marie Fortune’s book “Keeping the Faith: Guidance for Christian Women Facing Abuse.” While it doesn’t address all the forms of abuse we now recognize, she uses sound reasoning, good scriptures, and combines that with actual experience with domestic violence victims and knowledge of domestic violence.
For information about domestic violence in marriage—it is a problem of the abuser abusing and attitudes of entitlement, not “passive, submissive” women—read anything by Lundy Bancroft. Worked with over 1000 abusers. Nationally recognized and the preeminent expert in this field.
Be aware that
- abuse always escalates. Whatever abuse the victim is aware of, there’s always more she’s not aware of.
- victims need professional assistance in recognizing abuse and getting to safety. National hotline for domestic violence can put them in contact with local shelters
- shelters can often offer housing for victims of non-physical forms of abuse (if they have space...it fluctuates, even on COVID).
- marriage counseling is contraindicated in abuse. Could get her beaten or worse. She needs counseling by someone who understands domestic violence. He needs 1-2 years in a program for abusers.
If you are looking for a way out of the Egypt that is an abusive marriage, seek His help—and wise, informed counsel. He can deliver you.
I just listened to the podcast where the writer asked for advice because her husband is emotional and physical abusing her and more than half of the podcast was about Jolene stating how she’s doesn’t have a doormat personality. Please answer her question. I was hoping to get insight as I’m dealing with similar problems and it’s frustrating that I couldn’t gain anything from it.
I so appreciate Eric and Jolene taking the time to guide us through God’s Word on what our marriage goals should be! They help us apply God’s truth to our marriage, very specifically at times, taking into consideration listeners issues. So appreciate them not expressing their opinions, but showing Gods truth! Thank you!!
I’m soon to be married, and can’t thank Eric and Jolene enough for their guidance on the roles of a Biblical husband and wife. Their advice is applicable and follows the Bible!
My husband and i have been married for 4month now and wow, what a roller coaster of life changes, emotional shifts of separating and moving out from close knitted family home caused a lot of clashes. Missing my family and now with a new role as wife was hard change for me. As a young bride (age 24) Jolene’s advice have got us heading the right direction. Their ministry is blessing in my life. Their teaching is solely based on the truth of the word and it’s gotten my relationship with Jesus strong and help me keep my eyes on Him.
I’m really blessed by this podcast. I’m a young wife believer and I often struggle with how to conduct myself and minister to my husband and they really put things into perspective from a Biblical standpoint and it has helped strengthen my faith and my conduct as a Christian wife. Thank you for ministering to young Christian wives like myself.
It took me awhile to get into their style but, like parents, they seem wiser the longer you listen. If you actually do what they say (have you he meaningful conversations with your spouse and commit to loving God and your spouse), it seems you’d be in good shape.
Where do I start? First if you are currently married, thinking about getting married, have been married in the past, or ever want to be married again. YOU NEED TO LISTEN to this podcast. Eric and Jolene are NOT talking to just hear themselves talk! Everything they speak lines up with just what the Lord is telling us straight from His word (the Bible). It gives new meaning to the hashtag #readitliveit because THEY DO. Thank you so much Eric and Jolene for “putting yourself out there” so that we can have better marriages! To God be the glory!
Thank you for this podcast. Both of you have great points on spending time together. Just for 5 minutes is a super way to start. Timing is everything. We often do breakfast dates so we can tend to each other without kids.
Plus o get up and make coffee at 5 am so we can pray together and bless each other before the day starts.
Thanks for confirmation of same page. Now how do we do it financially?
Thanks for the Godly work!
Tanya
