I originally thought Iād accidentally stumbled upon this podcast. I now believe it was divine intervention answering my cry for help& connecting me. It was bizarre how listening to the episode:The Purpose of Pain+how&why you must surrender w/Zach Bushā¦connected so many things that had recently piqued my interest. He articulated similar feelings in regards to being treated as patient w/conventional medicine, alone, &my experience working in the nursing field. Iāve suffered from chronic neck pain for yrs, but a few yrs later I developed intense strange pain& swelling that seemed to show up@random-so intense I thought Iād suffered a fracture. Over time the pain eventually spread to all the joints. (Maybe it was lonely&seeking connection;). It took years of knowing something was wrong w/me&i felt as mad as a hatter just trying to get a medical professional to take me seriously&investigate. The process was challenging& I gave it all of energy. The rheumatologist told me: Look-you will never get better, but, the right medication can help slow the process& ease the symptomsā¦No answers as to how I developed these disorders or resources to dealā¦&years spent trying a variety of meds w/o success. Feeling my docs were not invested- feeling was as if I was drowning& there were all these people standing on the sideline, casually carrying on conversation while watching me flailing, actively drowning, in their periphery. I was in panic mode-but thought, if you start screaming, you look as crazy as you feel. I guess I valued their perception of me over how I felt. Idk;Itās baffling. I had given up living. I did not&do not want to dieā¦yet, but I havenāt had the tools to know how to live. Iāve been disconnected, exhausted,& was living in a consistent fear, in fight or flight state& going through various levels of depression, life unconscious,a shell of my true self. MM is right-you have to be the CEO of your own health. The difficulty can be: access for 2nd opinion, mult medications issues, eventually unable to work, hyper-focusing on inability to afford the care you need. Now, though, I know I am not alone. I still cry every time I say that aloudā¦my tears no longer in pity but gratitude. I am paying attention to signs&messages that I used to dismiss. I thought I was bats. That may be my baseline;) I swear the universe has risen up to meet me&itās very strange& incredibly interesting. I have made a conscious shift in my mindset, thanks to the heal squad! My autoimmune diagnoses are not a punishment for who I am as a human, but an opportunity to learn, grow, change& create a life I had stopped dreaming about&believing possible. I believe healing holistically is ahead. Idk how it will unfold&i donāt need to. Right now i have faith, tools, &a deep desire for positive change. The prior narrative (the one Iād practiced throughout the day every dayā¦ for Years, until 7 days ago)ā¦ if I said aloud to another person the things I had been saying to myselfā¦Iād have been accused of human cruelty. Now, I am Practicing self-love&compassion. I have been sleep-walking (minus the dreaming part), letting my suffering&fear overtake me. I have decided to start living or die trying. I have all the feels. &Itās a lot, butāThe information, connection,& tools are such a blessingā¦Iām eager to dive in&utilize all that is available. MM, TY so,so much for sharing your storyā¦it led me from one eye-opening piece of info to the next&the messages Iāve received, the strange things that Iāve experienced in the 7days, well, I cannot express my gratitude w/words. My apologies for so many wordsš. I want to thank yāall. TY, TY, TY, to every person who helped to create&makes this podcast possible. It is the gift that keeps on givingā¦You woke me up& that is truly a miracle!-k.b. ***Iāve listened to countless episodes in approx 1 month: time&time again lead back to Dr. Joe Dispenza-about to begin meditations! I still have all the feels, challenges arise. This podcast lead me to any other conversation, interview, circumstance, situation. Speaking w/a Buddhist teacher I came to understand I had experienced an awakening& something called an openingā¦for several wks I felt my heart was wide open (or at least more than Iāve ever felt). I had amazing clarity/flow. Relationships w/family changed drastically. My entire body was buzzing. Discomfort remained in the body, but I was out&about&living! Areas of psoriasis that had been on particular areas for 1-2yrs, healed, my friend told me one day I was glowing (when usually my skin was anything but, typically). When I felt the first frustration arise, I panicked. Other familiar old emotions& thoughts entered what felt was a protective sphere. Iāve had moments/days when I wavered but I got an extended glimpse of who I really am. I remind myself I am not those old thoughts, feelings, fears. I re-center. I donāt punish myself when I act in way Iād rather wished I hadnāt. I had bizarre mystical experiences. (Those still seem to happen). Originally I had no terminology for all these things&had to do my own research. &(gasp) connect w/others! Cherry on top: I lost 12hrs in under a month. I was told until my inflammation was under control I wouldnāt be able to lose any of the significant weight I put on the last few yrs. Im still hoping to meet more people to share their stories or provide insight into my own. I trust my intuition& am declining yet another biologic medication, whoās list of side effects terrifies me. Learning the beauty in connecting&Trusting the universe. I am worthy of being healthy. All my needs are met. All things are working for my good. I say that multiple times a day, especially when worry arises. Beyond that all of the affirmations MM & others shared,Ive borrowed! Episodes w/guests: John Edwards, Natasha Graziano, Deepak Chopra, Danielle LaPorte, Dr. Kim Dāeramo, Maryann DiMarco, Jessica Alba, Zach Bush, Elizabeth Gilbert, &k&k fridays-Adore yall&TY for the initial wake-up!!!!