August 7, 2026

The Sex Advice I Got Wrong After 20 Years | Sex With Emily

For 20 years, people have asked me the same questions: what's the best position, how do I get better oral sex, is anal sex supposed to hurt. And honestly? I still love answering those. But after two decades of doing this podcast, I've realized something. People rarely come to me with the real problem. Underneath the sex question, there's almost always shame, rejection, resentment, or the big one: "am I normal?" In this episode, I'm doing something I've never done before going back through 20 years of advice and telling you what I'd change. I'm a Doctor of Human Sexuality and I've talked to millions of people about their sex lives, and here's what I know now that I didn't then: "just communicate" isn't enough, "spice it up" doesn't fix resentment, spontaneous desire is mostly a myth for people in long-term relationships, and sleep and stress matter more than any toy in your nightstand. I'm breaking down the five pillars of sexual intelligence, why I think we're all obsessed with the wrong metrics, and what actually predicts great sex (hint: it's not technique). If you've ever wondered whether you're normal, this one's for you. You are. #SexWithEmily #EmilyMorse #SexAdvice #SexualIntelligence #Relationships ABOUT EMILY: Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex.  CONNECT: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/  X: https://twitter.com/sexwithemily  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily  Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily WANT MORE? Visit the Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ which includes FREE guides. Free Downloadable Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/  Text With Me: https://sexwithemily.com/text  Receive Sex Tips On The Regular: https://sexwithemily.com/subscribe  Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to http://sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply!    ============================= Chapters: 00:00 Intro 00:50 20 years of sex advice, updated 03:03 What's really underneath people's sex questions 05:46 Why "just communicate" isn't enough 07:18 "Spice it up" won't fix resentment 08:03 Rethinking "schedule sex" 08:18 Spontaneous desire vs. responsive desire 11:04 Sleep, stress, and your libido 14:16 You are not broken 14:58 The permission problem 15:38 Why perfect sex doesn't exist 20:01 Mastering yourself, not just technique Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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