August 18, 2026
Coercive Control & Trauma Bonding: Why You Can’t “Just Leave” Solo Episode with Lisa Lacy
Why does someone stay in a relationship they know is hurting them? And why can leaving feel almost physically unbearable, even when you know you need to go?In this special solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy shares her own experience of spending 13 years in a marriage marked by addiction, betrayal, coercive control, gaslighting and trauma bonding.At the time, Lisa was also carrying diagnoses of borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, complex PTSD, chronic alcoholism and codependency while managing a congenital blood disease. Over time, the chaos became so disorienting that she stopped trusting her own perception and began gaslighting herself.She left repeatedly.And repeatedly went back.Because every time she tried to leave, it felt like she was dying.It ultimately took three years to complete the divorce and another three years before she was able to fully go no contact.This conversation explores what coercive control actually looks like when it happens slowly, how trauma bonds are reinforced through cycles of fear, pain, relief and reconciliation, why mental-health diagnoses can make someone even more vulnerable to doubting their own reality, and why asking survivors, “Why didn’t you just leave?” profoundly misunderstands what may be happening psychologically and physiologically.Lisa also talks about the long road back to self-trust, the difference between understanding someone and giving them permission to harm you, and the moment when you stop making decisions based on someone’s potential and finally start looking at their patterns.Because sometimes leaving is not one brave decision.Sometimes it is a process of choosing yourself over and over again until your nervous system finally learns that freedom is safe.Learn more about Lisa and Notes From the Edge at www.LisaLacy.comWhat did you perform in order to survive? Welcome to the Edge.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Also available on Apple Podcasts