April 29, 2026
The Science of Grief — Ep. 5: Why grief comes in waves (and feels so unpredictable)
Grief rarely moves in a straight line. It comes in waves.You can feel steady for hours, even days. You move through conversations, complete tasks, and begin to find some footing again.And then something shifts — a scent, a song, a familiar place — and the intensity returns, all at once.In this episode, I explain why grief feels so unpredictable, and what is actually happening in your brain and body when these waves arise.This is not instability. It is a biological process.Understanding this can bring a sense of steadiness in the middle of something that often feels chaotic.In this episode, you’ll learn:• Why grief comes in waves rather than following a linear path• How the brain continues to expect the person to be present• What “triggers” really are (and why they are not random)• Why grief is processed in fragments across different systems in the brain• A simple way to meet intense waves when they ariseThis episode is part of a weekly series exploring the neuroscience of grief, drawing on research from Mary-Frances O’Connor, Lisa Feldman Barrett, and Lisa Shulman, and more.At the centre of this episode is a key idea:the brain does not immediately update the loss.It continues to operate from an internal attachment map, expecting the person to still exist in your world.Each wave of grief is part of how that map slowly updates.If you want to go deeper into this work, you can explore my courses and resources on my website, or join my newsletter for weekly insights.Website: https://sylviawolfer.com/Newsletter: https://sylviawolfer.myflodesk.com/fkez3lwe4h“Grief does not obey your plans… and in that, it has a lot in common with love.”— Elizabeth Gilbertgrief waves, grief triggers, neuroscience of grief, grief and the brain, attachment and loss, coping with grief, emotional regulation, nervous system griefDisclaimer:This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and does not replace medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you are struggling significantly with your mental health, please seek support from a qualified healthcare professional.
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